Whole Heart

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in Him

Psalm 40:1-3

It was about three years ago that my heart started to shatter into pieces. The man I had been in relationship with for almost 21 years at that point, told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore…that he fantasised about being single and dreamt that we weren’t together…almost every day.

It was January 2016 in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, where we had served as missionaries for over four years at that point. Those last three years had been rocky but my hope was that things were going to change for the better…and they did…but not in the way that I had planned. He left us the following month and I found myself on my knees like never before.

Through that time, worship became my therapy. Listening to songs that ministered to my heart and spoke exactly to my situation, allowed me to carry on with life. I had four children in my care I had to be present for. I had work and ministry to do as well as home-schooling. Life was so much different then to how it is now, and I know that I only got from there to here because of a God who held me through it.

Maybe you’re in that place where your heart is broken and your mind is confused.

I’ve been there. I’ve been deep in that valley.

But I’ve come out.

Some days I feel like I’m standing on a mountain top so high that I can look back and see how far I’ve come and end up in tears. Jesus just blows my mind.

He is faithful and He heals hearts. He pulls us back together when we feel like we’re too far unravelled that we’ve just left a chaotic mess. His love is what does that.

My church, that has played a big part in my healing and recovery process, recently released a song that depicts that journey that He brought me through. I share it today in hope that it ministers to your heart and the heart of those you get to share it with. Be blessed as you meditate on the words and as you encounter His Spirit in the process. Love you!

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